So, I read about this week’s MTBoS task on a day full of challenges and changes for me, but I decided to write about it anyway. You see, I resigned today from my position as Program Manager at a Regional Education Support Center. Not because I don’t love the work, or the people, but because the program development is largely done and the program implementation is not something I can do with Parkinson’s Disease. The job requires visiting schools all over the state, being in an office 35 minutes from home on the other days, organizing and running student events that are filled with unpredictability, and oh yeah, writing curriculum. All but that last task are nearly impossible to accomplish when you live life three “good” hours at a time. That’s about as long as I get before the meds are wearing down and I have to wait for the next cycle. Our program is a good one, and it will benefit from a full-time Math Program Manager. I just can’t be that person, and, at 47, that is a tough reality to face. I will continue on for a while longer as an independent contractor, filling-in the gaps as I need to in the programs. Then I hope to find other stay-at-home work.
I’m not sure if telling this story will help anyone but me, so it feels a bit self-indulgent to be writing it, but maybe it will make you take pause and be grateful for the little things you may take for granted, like having your foot move when you want it to, or having your hand be still when you want it to. I am so grateful that usually my brain still responds the way I want it to, and am looking forward to finding new ways to use that brain in the service of our kids. The pressures on children and teachers are getting so scary – I wonder what I may be able to do to help? If you think of anything that I might focus my attention on next, send me your ideas! I’m gonna keep trying to make a difference…three good hours at a time.
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